How I Went from Being a Shy Tormented High School Nerd to an Un-employable 28 year old ‘Alpha Networker’ & Entrepreneur…

A few months ago, I received an invitation in the mail to my 10 year high school class reunion. I couldn’t believe it had already been 10 years since I had left L.A. and flew 3,000 miles to Boston, to begin a new life…

It may sound dramatic when I say “begin a new life”, but that’s exactly what it was.

I did not like my time in high school.

It was quite miserable actually.

High School was very much like being a crab in a bucket, with other crabs… feeling like the one crab who would attempt to climb out of the bucket, only to be pulled back down by other crabs. I took all kinds of crap from many of my peers in high school, quietly absorbing it and rarely striking back.

I’m not sure what kept me moving forward, doing the best I could to let the negativity slide off me and continue to perform.

The only relief was the praise from my teachers and a few close friends. It was their guidance and encouragement which reassured me that I was on the right path.

To this day I’m still impressed with my ability to absorb the shots and criticism, yet stubbornly move forward. It would have been much easier for me to have assimilated into the norm and gained the comfort of social acceptance.

I also played varsity football, yet was totally miserable being a part of my high school team.

Involuntarily Training for a Marathon

Every day, I would show up to practice 1 hour late because I was also part of my school’s Academic Decathlon team. My academic team met during the last period of the day, which was also the period football practice began.

I made my academics my priority and therefore, whenever I showed up to football practice, my offensive line coach would tell me to start running to make me pay for missing part of practice, but all it really did was cause me to miss more practice.

I would run for the next hour of every practice. If I wasn’t wearing pads and a helmet, people would think that I was training for a marathon. I became quite the runner.

My teammates had given me the nickname “Calculus”, in an attempt to marginalize my efforts. I couple of times I did “snap” during practice and got into scuffles with some a-holes on the team.

That earned me another nickname… “Manson”.

I think I liked “Manson” better than “Calculus”, because it at least represented me standing up for myself and giving them a taste of their own medicine.

It would have been easy for me to just quit the team, but I could not give my coaches or teammates the satisfaction of driving me away.

I slept very little, because I carried a full load of AP classes, worked at Chuck E. Cheese, did Academic Decathlon and had football practice for 3-4 hours per day. I would get home late, exhausted then stay up until 2, 3 or 4 in the morning to finish my homework. I would get up at 6am to begin my day again.

If not for the football season ending and winter break, I definitely would have had a mental breakdown.

What also helped was that my 1st period Physics teacher, Mr. Lowe, understanding my situation would let me sleep through his class as he lectured. Other students complained as to why he allowed me to nap, while everyone else had to pay attention to his lectures.

He would reply, “Because Fernando is the only one with an A in the class. Now pay attention!”

This got me some rest, but didn’t make my relationship with my peers any easier.

When I graduated, I had been accepted to MIT and I could not wait to leave L.A. for Boston. It was an opportunity for a new life, where no one knew who I was. A new life did indeed begin…

“What Happened to the Shy Ferny?”

This past Saturday, I attended my 10 year reunion and hung out with people I hadn’t spoken to for over a decade. With a few exceptions, I did not keep in touch with people from high school so I was seeing everyone for the first time.

It was an amazing experience and interesting enough, none of the people that had tormented me in high school were there. I got along great with everyone and met a few folks I didn’t know before.

I really had a great time, which was a little surprising.

A conversation of note was with an old friend Alex, who I greeted. I use to work at Chuck E. Cheese with him, making pizzas.

Before the reunion, many of us had submitted bios of where we were at now, occupation, and a picture.

Alex had read the bio I submitted and said, “I read your bio and saw your picture. I recognized your face, but I could tell you weren’t the same person. What happened to the shy Ferny? You smile more, you’re confident, even your posture and the way you stand is different.”

I asked him, “How was my posture before?”

He replied, “You kinda hunched over, very shy and kept to yourself. Wow. You look good.”

I said ‘thank you’, and tried as best I could to explain what had happened over these past 10 years. It turned out he had recently started working with World Financial Group, a financial services network marketing company, and had discovered the blessings of personal development and understood the value of a positive association of friends.

So I connected with him on that level and explained that over these past 10 years, my association had changed, and therefore I had changed. I think he understood, based on his recent experience in this industry.

An Out of Body Experience

That Saturday was a surreal experience, because of how I felt as a socialized. Until then, I had no idea how much I had changed, until I mentally stepped outside myself for a little bit that night and I made myself aware of how I interacted with everyone there.

Kind of like an out of body experience…

Alex was right.

I was not the same person as before. I was more confident. As a result of this new me and my body language, I sensed that the level of respect people had for me was also different – in a good way. They were happy to see me, wanted to take pictures with me, were interested in my life and I was interested in theirs.

A couple of folks pulled me to the side and spoke candidly about how proud they were of me, being that I was latino, and how much they had respected me during high school, despite the fact that some of their friends would put me down behind my back.

I also sat down and had a great conversation with an old friend, named Lorena. She didn’t know this, but I use to have a small crush on her in high school. Back then, like any nerd with a crush, there were many times when I helped her with her homework and was the best friend I could be. She was always very grateful for my help, and she was one of those few friends who provided me with encouragement and support.

We caught up that night and I met her husband, Louis, who’s a great guy. They had flown in from Arkansas, where they settled down. They have been married for 7 years and are both doing great, with 3 beautiful children.

Lorena was also the only other full-time business owner in the room besides myself. Being a successful business woman, considering where she came from, having never finished college and raising a family was an extraordinary accomplishment and I was very proud of her and how far she had come.

We talked a little bit about business and we exchanged a few ideas. It was very cool to see people I grew up with doing so well for themselves and having become successful entrepreneurs.

The Alpha Networker

I guess the reason I’m sharing this is in part to reflect on how far I had come since leaving for college, and trying to piece together my transformation.

And most definitely, a HUGE part of my transformation was as a result of these past few years growing as a business owner, dedicating myself to personal development and becoming the “Alpha Networker”, Mike Dillard defines so well in his Magnetic Sponsoring course.

It was clear that the “Alpha Networker” was the Ferny who was present that night for my high school reunion.

The only part of the old Ferny, which remained was my heart and the stubbornness, which never allowed me to quit anything I began. It was this stubbornness which got me through high school and my failures in Network Marketing.

This ability to weather the storms of life, eventually led me to discovering Mike Dillard and Magnetic Sponsoring, and led to my growth as a networker, a marketer, a teacher and entrepreneur.

As for my personal growth and transformation… well, I’ve described this journey as best I can in many of the AMF newsletters I’ve written, including this one. I hope this one, as well as the others, will inspire you to find the courage and confidence to move forward in pursuit of your dreams, despite the pull down from the “crabs” in your life.

But I can only talk to you about my journey. You’ll still need to embark on your own.